The Deputy's Unexpected Family Page 5

  “I miss the crowns.”

  So did Harper. This robbery felt personal. It was an invasion, and it had left her more shaken than she liked to admit.

  “Are you hungry?” Harper asked.

  “Yep. Can I have a snack?” Zoey asked hopefully. “I want cheese.”

  “I’ll make supper,” Harper replied with a rueful shake of her head. “And after supper, you’re going to visit Grandma Jane for a little while. She’s going to make cookies with you.”

  “Cookies?”

  “You know Grandma Jane’s cookies.” She smiled.

  “Mommy made good cookies...”

  There it was—the sadness that always seemed so close to the surface, and Harper sank down onto her haunches and opened up her arms. “Come here, sweetie.”

  Zoey crawled into Harper’s arms and she held the girl close, breathing in the scent of her. This child had lost so much, and Harper couldn’t make it okay. All she could do was hug her through it.

  “I miss your mom, too,” Harper said softly. “Her cookies were great, weren’t they?”

  Zoey nodded mutely against Harper’s shoulder.

  “And we’ll see her again, Zoey,” Harper murmured. “One day, when we’re in Heaven. That wasn’t a forever goodbye, sweetie. That was a...so long for now.”

  That’s when Harper would have to hand Zoey back to Andrea and tell her that she’d done her very best to raise Zoey right and to keep Andrea’s memory alive. It was a mammoth job, and she was only now starting to appreciate how hard it would be.

  Harper’s legs began to cramp, and she laughed softly. “I’m going to fall over, Zoey.”

  Zoey giggled and wriggled free as Harper caught herself with one hand, and Zoey wandered off to the living room. Thankfully, Harper wasn’t completely alone in this. She had the grandparents—Andrea’s parents and her own—who were a wealth of advice, babysitting and prayer. Plus there was her sister, friends and community... Harper would take all the help she could get.

  Supper that night consisted of chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes and some boiled carrots on the side. Boiled carrots were one of the few vegetables that Zoey would eat without too much complaint. One of the things Harper had learned over the last six months was that Zoey was capable of living entirely off snack food if allowed, and it was up to Harper to insist upon meals three times a day. Cheese sticks, applesauce cups and fish-shaped crackers did not make for balanced nutrition. Most days. Some days, she chose her battles.

  And speaking of battles, today she’d chosen a doozy telling Gabe about his daughter. Thinking about it now, she should have talked to Andrea’s parents, Mike and Jane Murphy, first. They’d certainly have a few opinions about what she’d just done, and she honestly wasn’t sure if she’d have their support in this.

  “Lord, what was I thinking?” she breathed.

  Harper rubbed her hands over her face. She wouldn’t rest tonight—not while she was wondering how Gabe had taken all of this. She had three options: talk to the Murphys and see how they reacted, talk to Gabe and see what he was feeling, or...wait.

  Waiting wasn’t actually an option—who was she kidding? Since Zoey was scheduled to hang out with her grandparents this evening, she might as well make use of the time to herself and get things sorted out with Gabe. The Murphys would have questions—lots of them—and she’d rather have a few answers lined up.

  So that evening, after dropping Zoey off with the Murphys, Harper drove to the police station and parked. The station glowed from the inside, and Harper eyed the brick building uncertainly. If Gabe was working, she wasn’t going to be a welcome sight.

  “Whatever,” she muttered aloud.

  Harper got out of her vehicle and headed up the walk to the front door. So he wouldn’t be thrilled to see her... She shouldn’t have to chase the man down, either! He’d just been told that he was a father, not that he was dying. Any man should be honored to be Zoey’s dad. She was a smart, sweet little girl with a heart of gold, and acknowledging her wasn’t a punishment. So let him be uncomfortable—she was in Zoey’s court right now, and she was doing this for her daughter.

  Harper trotted up the front steps and pulled open the glass door. A welcome wave of warmth hit her as she stepped inside the precinct. She rubbed her hands together and paused at the empty reception desk. She glanced at her watch—it was almost seven o’clock, and the receptionist would have already gone home. So she headed over to the bull pen and peered inside.

  Bryce Camden was sitting at his desk, typing at his computer. He glanced up when he saw her. There wasn’t anyone else around that Harper could see.

  “Hi,” Bryce said. “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, I was looking for one of the visiting officers—Gabe Banks.”

  “He’s here,” Bryce replied. He looked toward a hallway, then around the office. “I’m just finishing something up here. He’s in the lunchroom on break. You could just poke your head in there—it wouldn’t be a problem.”

  Harper hesitated, then sighed. What other option did she have? At least there wasn’t an audience for this meeting. She headed toward the closed door Bryce indicated, and looked back to get his confirmation it was the right room. Then she tapped on the door and pushed it open.

  Gabe wasn’t alone in the room as expected, and Harper stopped short. There was a woman with him, and Gabe was leaning on the edge of a counter, facing her. His warm gaze was locked on her face, and he was laughing softly about something. The woman—Harper recognized her as an officer, but she wasn’t in uniform—was staring at him adoringly.

  Yeah—not much had changed around here. Harper felt a rise of anger that she couldn’t quite explain. What should it matter to her if he was flirting around town again?

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Harper said curtly, and both Gabe and the woman turned toward her.

  “Not at all,” she said. “My shift is over anyway. I’d better get home.” The woman rose to her feet and leaned in, kissing Gabe on the cheek. “You’re one in a million, Gabe. You know that, right?”

  “Of course,” Gabe said with a playful shrug. “But it’s nice to hear all the same.”

  “You...” The woman shook her head. “Good night. I’m going home.”

  “Good night, Tammy.”

  Tammy nodded to Harper as she headed out of the room, and Harper stared at Gabe in mild disgust. It didn’t take him long to work the field, did it? She didn’t know why this bothered her so much—because she was being proven right, after all—but it did.

  “What are you doing here?” Gabe asked, and Harper raised an eyebrow. He frowned. “What?”

  “Same old Gabe Banks,” she said, wishing she sounded a little less bitter than she did.

  “That?” He hooked a thumb toward the half-open door. “First of all, you don’t have a right to question anything I do. Second, don’t judge a situation before you know what’s going on.”

  “I’m not asking,” Harper replied. “You’re right. Not my business.”

  Gabe eyed her for a moment, then sighed. “I should have come back into the store.”

  “Yes, you should have.” But coming here had been a mistake. She could feel it already. These were his stomping grounds, not hers, and she’d probably see more than she wanted to. Gabe might be Zoey’s dad, but he wasn’t anything more to Harper, so she’d better start appreciating those boundaries now.

  “I was around, you know,” he said. “I didn’t just leave you there without police supervision.”

  “That would have been nice to know,” she said.

  “I’m sorry if you felt...unsafe.” His voice lowered. “I was there. I’m not proud of how I handled that, and I think I owe you an apology.”

  There was his charm again—but charm wasn’t going to be enough here.

  “It’s okay. I get that I dropped a bomb on you. I came b
y tonight because I was worried.” She glanced in the direction Tammy had left. “Although I probably shouldn’t have bothered.”

  A humored smile tickled his lips. “I’m a big boy now, Harper.”

  “Actually, I was more worried about Zoey,” she retorted. “Obviously, you can fend for yourself. You always have.”

  Gabe ignored the inference and sighed. “Did you tell Zoey about me? I’d assumed you wouldn’t—not yet, at least.”

  “No, no, I haven’t told her,” Harper replied. “But this does concern her, doesn’t it? You’re her father, and if you don’t want to be in her life, I can live with that.” In some selfish part of her heart, she might even be hoping for it, she realized. “But I need to know where you stand on all of this.”

  Gabe glanced at his watch. “Would you mind going outside to talk about this? This is kind of private.”

  “Oh—” Harper nodded. He didn’t seem to mind if people saw him flirting with Officer Tammy... She tried to push that thought away. “Sure. Let’s go outside.”

  Gabe led the way, and as they passed Bryce, he gave them a friendly nod. Gabe pulled on a jacket and Harper tugged hers a little closer as they stepped outside in the brisk chill. Gabe held the door for her, and she tried to ignore just how tall and broad he was. This wasn’t her residual attraction to him, and she needed to keep her head on straight.

  The moon hung low in the sky, and Harper could smell smoke from a fireplace surfing the breeze. Gabe led the way to a bench that faced the street and he sat down. Harper sat next to him, squeezing her knees together.

  “Okay, I guess I should start by saying that I’ve been thinking about Zoey all day,” he said, “and the thing I keep coming back to is that Andrea didn’t want me to even know about this kid.”

  Harper had always thought that was a mistake, but now she could appreciate her friend’s position a little better. To be in love with that man and watch him move on with other women—it would have been painful.

  “That’s in the past,” she said. “I’m her mom, now.”

  “Except you weren’t so wrong about me,” Gabe said, his voice low. “I’m one of those messed-up guys who looks good on paper but has too many issues to be the kind of rock a woman needs. When Andrea found out she was pregnant, where did she go?”

  “Home,” Harper murmured.

  “To you.” Gabe looked over at her. “Am I right?”

  “I was her best friend.”

  “And I was her boyfriend. I was the father.” He shook his head. “But you saw that all along, didn’t you?”

  Harper licked her lips as a chill breeze whisked her red curls into her eyes. She pulled her hair back. “I admit, I wasn’t a big champion of your relationship, and that was mainly because of the guy you were when I knew you—here in town. You were a womanizer. A flirt. You didn’t take anything seriously.”

  “I was a kid with a lot of problems. You were right to see through my tough act. I wish more people had.”

  His voice was low, and something warm sparkled in his dark eyes. He met her gaze easily and she felt something inside of her soften in spite of her best intentions.

  “How do you do that?” Harper asked suddenly.

  “What?” He eyed her uncertainly.

  “I just watched you flirting shamelessly with that officer in there, and you turn around the next minute and make me feel like—” She stopped. She was saying too much already.

  “Like what?” he pressed, that warm gaze still fixed on her.

  “Like you see me. Like I’m important. Like I’m the only woman in this town. It’s a nice trick. You’re very good at it.”

  “Flirting?” He barked out a laugh. “That’s what you thought that was? I’ll tell you something, Harper. When I’m flirting with you, you’ll know it.”

  She felt heat creep into her cheeks. “You’re doing it again.”

  “Sorry.” He shot her an impish smile. “It’s just that I wasn’t flirting. I did her a favor. She was grateful. Not that it’s your business, but I helped her contact her little sister who’d run away and landed in Fort Collins. She hadn’t seen her in five years, and she was grateful.”

  “Oh.” Harper felt a little bad knowing that. “Grateful enough to kiss you, it seems.”

  “Apparently.” He shot her an irritated look. “I didn’t ask for that. You act like I’m angling for female attention around here, and that’s the last thing I’m doing. So when I’m uncomfortable, I put on that act—pretend that I’m all cocky and confident. It doesn’t mean I feel it—it just means I’m trying to smooth over an uncomfortable situation. It’s not like I’m married.”

  No, it wasn’t. Harper sighed and looked away. It shouldn’t matter. This wasn’t about the character traits she liked in men. And as he pointed out, he was very, very single right now. She was here for her daughter, and she had to remember that.

  “So where does this leave Zoey?” Harper asked.

  Gabe was silent for a moment. “What are you wanting from me? Are you asking me to take my daughter with me back to Fort Collins—”

  “No!” Harper couldn’t help the passion in the word and she lowered her voice again, not wanting it to carry. “No. Andrea left Zoey to me because I’ve been her godmother since birth. I love Zoey with all my heart, and I have no desire to give her up. I just happen to know that a little girl needs her dad, too.”

  “She needs a good dad, not just a biological one,” he replied, his voice so quiet that the chilled breeze almost whisked his words away.

  “You’re all she’s got,” Harper countered.

  “I only found out about her this morning.” Gabe met her gaze solemnly. “And I’m back in town because I’m being disciplined for my problems with authority. So I’m not exactly in a good place.”

  “All right. Fair enough.” Harper pulled her keys from her pocket. Even the little bit she was hoping for seemed to be asking too much.

  “Hey.” His deep voice tugged her gaze back upward, and he met it levelly. “I didn’t want marriage and children. That’s still true, but I have good reason for that. It isn’t selfish. I mean, who doesn’t want a woman to call his own, kids to love? But a family needs more than I can offer, and instead of setting myself up for divorce after divorce, instead of disappointing woman after woman and setting kids up for a lifetime of disillusionment because I wasn’t enough, I’m being honest with myself.”

  “I’m not here to judge—” she began.

  “Aren’t you?” he quipped. “You sure jumped to a few conclusions inside there.”

  Harper clenched her jaw and dropped her gaze.

  “And I guess that’s okay,” Gabe conceded with a sigh. “You’re Zoey’s mom, now, and judging the people you let into her life is pretty much your job.”

  Harper nodded slowly. “Okay. So maybe I’m judging a little bit.”

  “Here’s the thing,” Gabe said. “I know where my strengths lie, and it isn’t in the family life. But I’m also not the same guy I was five years ago.”

  “No?” He could have fooled her.

  “I’m a Christian now, for one,” he said. “I don’t chase women anymore—that’s over. But faith in God doesn’t change who I am, and my own garbage that I have to sort through. It just gives me some divine guidance while I do it. But that said, I’m a father. That’s a biological fact, and I don’t want to let Zoey down.”

  “That’s a good thing,” Harper replied. “Because even if Zoey hasn’t thought to ask about you yet, she will as she gets older. She’ll need to know about you—you’re a part of her.”

  The most Harper hoped for right now was that Gabe would be a decent father—from a distance. That he’d remember Zoey’s birthdays and visit her a few times a year. That he’d Skype with her from time to time and make her feel like she mattered to him without this distressingly attractive man ac
tually getting underfoot here in Comfort Creek.

  And the realization stabbed some guilt deep inside of her. Zoey deserved better, and Harper’s feelings toward Gabe shouldn’t matter one bit in that equation. Please God, let him not disappoint his daughter too deeply.

  * * *

  Gabe looked at Harper, her curls ruffling in the cold wind. The tip of her nose was pink, and she glanced at him, green eyes glittering in suppressed emotion. Obviously, Harper still didn’t have an incredibly high opinion of him, and he was already kicking himself for that. He fell back into old habits—acting smoother than he felt when it came to women. He knew how to charm them, and he didn’t want to be that guy anymore, but he’d managed to back himself into that corner all over again with Tammy. At least when it came to appearances.

  Harper was the one who’d never seen much use in him, and the woman who had enticed him from the start. Somehow, facing all of this with Harper seemed to set him at an emotional disadvantage.

  “How should we do this?” she asked, breaking the silence.

  “I’ll be sending you child support payments,” Gabe said. “You don’t have to worry about chasing me down for that.”

  “I appreciate that, but that isn’t what I meant. I’m not worried about the money.”

  He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the folded picture Zoey had made for him. He tapped it against his palm a couple of times. “To start, I think I should meet my daughter—properly, I mean.”

  It felt strange to refer to “his daughter,” words that had never entered his mind in the past. He was a dad...or maybe not exactly a dad. Dads were there for their kids—they’d earned the title. Like Bryce adopting that little girl with his wife. Bryce was a dad; Gabe was at most a biological father.

  “You don’t like me much,” Gabe said. “But maybe we can sort out some kind of friendship between us.”

  She didn’t counter him, but after a beat of silence, she said, “Why don’t you come for dinner tomorrow evening? It will give me some time to talk to Zoey and explain it all to her.”

  “I, uh—” He looked up, catching her eye. “Harper, I’m not good with kids, and I don’t have anyone else to turn to. I might need some help in...I don’t know...connecting with her.”